3. Cool As Ice (1991)
Picture the scene - a film-maker stands in front of a panel of studio execs and flawlessly pitches making an urban remake of Rebel Without A Cause with a cool rapper. Sounds great, I mean, what could possibly go wrong there? After all, it doesnt sound too awful. But then, sadly, the star of the show is one Vanilla Ice, the sometimes rapper with the ridiculous hair who had shown up in Turtles 2 in a brilliant, career high move that clearly showed a burning desire to be a movie star. Sadly, Ice didn't have the skills to pay the bills. The film involves a horribly precocious Kristin Minter as a woman who doesnt know if she wants to be a career driven yuppie or be a wannabe rapper, and who drives into the desert one day to give the matter some serious philosophical thought. These life affirmations are obviously caused by Vanilla Ice in his bright jacket and MC Hammer in a paint factory explosion pants announcing himself into her life, because that's the effect he has on anyone. Cool As Ice also has the worst tagline in history, which makes very little sense when you think about it: 'When a girl has a heart of stone, there's only one way to melt it. Just add Ice. But then who wouldnt love the movies message, "drop that zero and get with the hero". As universal a message as any I've come across.