10 Ways You Know Your Partner Is A Horror Movie Villain

6. Your Partner Is Highly Intelligent And Has A Sophisticated Palate

hannibal

It is your one month anniversary with your love bug and they have told you to expect a wonderful meal for dinner that night. They have been eager to introduce you to the type of cuisine they were eating when they were overseas in Namibia, studying the life cycles of poisonous arachnids abroad. You sit at the table later in the evening, whilst Beethoven sounds in the background, and a large plate of meat slathered in red sauce with a side of curried black beans and a glass of red wine is put in front of you. It smells delicious. Your mate sits with you and their own plate and glass, striking up a conversation about their time spent in the wilderness. As you dig in, you notice something off about the meat. Not to be mean, you decide to move onto the beans, but the beans are very crunchy, not at all smooth like they are in your favorite chili. Sipping on the wine proves worse as you pick up on your lover€™s monologue. You€™ve listened long enough to hear you are actually eating wild dog brain slathered in snake intestines and gravy with a side of fried dung beetles with wild boar blood infused merlot. It is one thing to have interesting taste, it is quite another to enjoy eating what most anyone would pass up. Just ask Hannibal Lecter, our debatably selected horror movie villain. True, he is not the villain of The Silence of the Lambs (Buffalo Bill is the real villain), but he has his fair share of bodies in his corner by the end. Lecter partook in exotic cuisine, being people. Human flesh. Presumably, the leap to human is not far from otherwise inedible dinners consisting of mixed animal parts sauteed in various bodily fluids, topped with indigenous insects. What€™s worse is their inane ability to successfully and intelligently support their ideas regarding appropriate diets, going as far as to back up their opinions with facts and scientific findings. If you€™re lover is cooking for you what you€™ve seen behind bars in zoos, it is quite possible that they are fattening you up so they can see what you taste like next.
 
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Contributor

I am a college graduate of Penn State with two bachelors in the arts. When I'm not writing or performing, I am an SFX make-up artist for local up and coming films in the Houston area. I love horror movies, James Spader, and will watch anything suggested to me.