5. Your Partner Needs Endless Attention
While talking on the phone to a co-worker after hours, your lover has started the process of hammering a nail into the wall to hang up a picture of the two of you at the beach the previous summer. Youve only been on the phone for thirty seconds before your sweetheart has started miming that they need help. You wave to them that youre on the phone and tell them to hold on. They make an exaggerated face and resume their pantomime. When it doesnt work, they line up the nail and get set to take a big swing with their hammer. You see this in the corner of your eye, but assume it is meant to make you laugh. You dont play games, though, do you? THUD! Cue a sharp scream through the air and a shattered picture frame on the ground. You end your call immediately and see your partner babying their finger that has just been smashed by the hammer. When you try to look at it, they pull away from you, as if you were to blame for the accident. Jason Voorhees of Friday the 13th (1980) fame is one such killer. As a child, he wanted to go swimming in the lake at his summer camp. While he did so, his counsellors were preoccupied with, well, having sex with each other, and poor, little Jason perished into the briny deep. From that point on, it has been everyone elses fault that Jason died, not that he went swimming without proper floatation devices. Shame, shame, little Jason. For twelve installments (including the 2009 remake and his massacre competition with Freddy Krueger), his victims have paid for those sexually driven counsellors abandonment which is not only unfair, but ridiculously cruel.