Okay, nobodys saying you shouldnt have children. Thats a terrible thing to say as we were all young once and theyre wonderful beacons of light in this dark chasm of death and despair we call life on Earth but nobody wants a f***ing beacon in a movie theatre. Would you take a lighthouse to the cinema? How about a foghorn? No? Then dont bring your young children to a movie that isnt made for them, especially if you have more than one. When the lights go down, the kids go up, and youll be lucky if they remain in their seats for the next ten minutes, let alone the rest of the movie if they get bored. Kids run around, kick other peoples seats, talk loudly and are the messiest, noisiest eaters on the planet. Yes, theyre adorable in their own way, but nobody wants to sit through a two and a half hour movie with a child wailing that theyd rather go home and watch cartoons. If you can afford the cost of buying your kids tickets, popcorn, horrible blue drinks and whatever tacky merchandise is on offer this week, then you can afford to hire a babysitter and leave. The damn kids. At home.
