5. Nazi Space Invaders From The Dark Side Of The Moon!
Iron Sky (2012) is one of those films that you want so desperately to be either lockjawed, kick-you-in-the-knee fantastic, or so bad that it might as well be. Its a crying shame that its neither of those things just decidedly mediocre. Still, stitch this for a high concept: upon realising that the Third Reich was doomed, the Nazis flee to the moon, building a base on the far side and hunkering down until 2018, whereupon they get their hands on a smartphone and try to use it to run their UFOs so that they can reinvade Earth. Thats exactly what they end up doing, arriving in New York to destroy the Statue Of Liberty and take the Big Apple by storm. Sounds wonderful, doesnt it? If only. Iron Sky commits the cardinal sin amongst Super Magic Nazi Zombie movies of being boring: and for a movie with such an entertaining premise, it really doesnt need such a convoluted plot. Nazi UFOs invade Earth to establish the Fourth Reich. Thats the pitch, the plot and the USP in one. We dont need all the United Nations infighting, the weirdness of the serum that turns the African-American hero white, the political machinations of the US president just give us Moon Nazis in spacecraft run by iPhones. The upcoming sequel features Adolf Hitler living inside the hollow Earth with a pet Tyrannosaurus Rex named Blondi, and supporting cast include Vladimir Pitin and Jesus Christ. They may all be shapeshifting lizards. Every word of this is true.
Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
