1. Batman & Robin (1997)
...and still, it's not quite as catastrophically, heart-stoppingly horrible as Joel Schumacher's butchering of the Batman franchise well and truly with
Batman & Robin, a misguided effort that further enhances the camp and homo-eroticism that Schumacher imbued into his
Batman Forever, ratcheting it up to unbearable levels. It is an example of how to take a profitable franchise and irrevocably derail it, such that it had to be rebooted so wonderfully by Christopher Nolan 8 years later. Gotham here was sickly looking; over-stylised and painful to watch, while the use of bat-nipples on the suit is as irritating as it was last time, though the film is suffused with far more zooms in on arses and crotches than is palatable for a film of this type. It is generally accepted that Schumacher was drafted in to give the films a more kid-friendly feel after Tim Burton's gloomy Batman and Batman Returns, and so the film feels like not much more than a commercial consideration, to sell more toys and get more Batman figurines inside of Happy Meal boxes. Performance-wise, Alicia Silverstone and Uma Thurman are horrid as Barbara Gordon and Poison Ivy respectably, while Arnold Schwarzenegger is just about the hero of the piece, the only guy who seems to understand that he's signed up for something irredeemably absurd and awfully conceived. The moment I realised this was destined to be the worst comic film ever was when Batman, played with curious indifference by George Clooney, brandishes a Batman-branded credit card, complete with a cheesy zoom, and the declaration that he "never leaves the Batcave without it". Yes, really. Do you agree? Are there any we missed? Let us know in the talkback below.