The Roommate thinks its an ersatz Single White Female, but its really the Beverly Hills 90210 of psycho thrillers theres no plot, and no characterization beyond good and evil, so its just 91 minutes about the lives of good-looking people you couldnt care less about. They wear the clothes the producers want you to buy, listen to the CD soundtrack and chase the MTV Awards demographic, who nominated Minka Kelly in the Best Scared-As-Sh*t Performance category. Because were talking PG-13, Rebecca (Leighton Meester), the movies ersatz Jennifer Jason Leigh, conducts the kind of bloodless rampage unseen since the days of Poverty Row quickies. When shes not subtly suggesting her fragile mental state by stabbing the furniture, Ersatz Jennifer is blackmailing The Creepy Teacher or threatening The Slut which, considering shes about as menacing as a Smurf riding a unicycle, proves remarkably successful. In fact, waiting for her to achieve critical mass is such an ordeal that youll be reminded of Terry Southerns advice to a writer of limp screenplays: Why dont they just get stoned and f**k?
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
