When it comes to Jess Francos films, its a tossup which is worst: the out-of-focus cinematography, the non-existent storylines or the glacial pacing. In short, Franco is not a director one goes to for mere entertainment, so its a surprise to find him at the helm of this rousing sleazefest. His protagonists here are real-life Spanish punk band Killer Barbies (with their name changed to placate Mattel) and the movie is essentially a promo for the Misfits-influenced group with several of their best songs on the soundtrack. Appropriately for a band whose lyrics abound with film references, they find themselves in an old-fashioned B-movie with a gothic castle, scythe-wielding henchmen, dwarf assistants and a creepy servant, played by Aldo Sambrell, who supplies his Countess with the blood she needs to retain her youth. The plots a formality, an excuse for the director of She Killed In Ecstasy and Erotic Rites Of Frankenstein to indulge his passion for softcore-tinged bloody mayhem, so Franco lets rip with a chase sequence involving a naked starlet, a dwarf and a scythe. This unfortunate damsels blood is then used to transform the countess from a bed-ridden octogenarian into Burial Grounds Mariangela Giordano, much to the admiration of one band member, who tells her: Youre the most beautiful bitch Ive ever seen!
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
