12 Cheesy Action Films More Fun Than Terminator Genisys

A load of tosh slapped together to exploit the masses before the rights revert to James Cameron, Terminator Genisys is less a movie than a checklist. Like Resident Evil: Retribution, it amounts to little more than a Greatest Hits package, the difference being that Paul WS Anderson’s movie was at least coherent.

Scenes are copied directly from the original, there's a T-1000 disguised as a cop and even Miles Dyson makes an appearance. Emilia Clarke says, "Come with me if you want to live",  Jason Clarke repeats the "It can't be reasoned with" speech and did you think they'd pass up a chance to recycle "I'll be back" for the umpteenth time?

Weirdest of all (discuss) is how Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese have in this timeline become wisecracking parodies of their former selves, joking with each other that if they never get it on, then the world will be doomed. If you were making an Airplane! type spoof of Cameron’s original, that’s exactly the kind of material you’d use.

It’s enough to make you pine for the days when all John Rambo had to do was blow up a few helicopters, kill some faceless enemies and rescue a few POWs – all in 95 minutes, by gum. None of this messy time travel business.

If you shelled out your hard earned to see Genisys and walked out thinking “there must be better cheesy action movies than this”, you’re right, and here’s where you start.  

If you’re only familiar with Charles Bronson through his films with Michael Winner, you might find it hard to believe that he was also in The Magnificent Seven, The Great Escape and The Dirty Dozen, among others. He’s a long way from his glory days in Murphy’s Law, but it’s still the pick of his '80s films.

Framed for the murder of his ex-wife, Chuck hightails it to a rustic cabin, where his ex-partner takes him in, gives him a weapon and says “take care, old friend.” So we know the guy’s as good as dead. Sure enough, when Chuck leaves to confront whoever set him up, along comes psychotic Carrie Snodgress who’s waging a vendetta against the men that put her away, including the partner, who she wastes on the spot.

All the expected clichés and caricatures are present and correct in this Cannon classic, but best of all are the eye-talian mobsters that Chuck tangles with. When one of them informs him of Murphy’s Law (“anything that can go wrong may result in a nosy cop taking a swim”), Bronson says: “The only law I know is Jack Murphy’s law. It’s very simple. Don’t f**k with Jack Murphy.”