6. Hulk Hogan - Big Flow Air Conditioner
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CCROasz8F0 Hulk Hogans done a lot of terrible stuff in his life. Claimed he was shortlisted to be Metallicas new bass player. All that racist nonsense hes been recorded spouting as pillow talk while having sex with his best mates wife. His creepy relationship with his daughter. Starrcade 1997. This commercial is not one of them. Its a wonderfully life-affirming production, in which a bare-chested Hogan, framed against a blue sky backdrop flecked with clouds, sings The Days Of The Week Song happily, even enthusiastically. Cue Hogan, propped up on one arm, gazingly lovingly at someone just off shot. Cut to shot of a smiling naked baby. Hold on, what? Cut to Hogan, still singing the nursery rhyme, but now it sounds sinister, like the ones in A Nightmare On Elm Street. Cut to full length shot of Hogan singing. Hes wearing a pair of white boxers and nothing else, and carrying an air conditioner. Somehow, he manages to make the air conditioner sexually threatening. I was wrong. Theres nothing okay about this commercial. You can add it to the above list although not above Starrcade 1997. Theres some stuff which should never be forgiven, or forgotten.
Jack Morrell
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Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
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