12 WTF Harry Potter Fan-Fictions You Won't Believe Exist
11. Riddles Of The Dead
After his graduation from Hogwarts back when Lord Voldemort was
still known as Tom Marvolo Riddle and far less freaky-looking, he stepped out
into the big wide world and in between murdering an Albanian peasant and
Hepzibah Smith somehow found the time to take a trip to Egypt on a quest to
unearth an ancient artefact that would grant him immortality. At least
according to fan fiction Riddles of the Dead, that is.
Who does an evil wizard in the making turn to for help in this kind of situation? Why, none other than everybody’s favourite snake-phobic, whip-lashing archaeologist Indiana Jones, of course! But this is the world of fan fiction so in between trekking across the Egyptian desert in search of mystical artefacts the motley pair manage to squeeze in plenty of campfire-side anal sex, naturally.
Cue a constant stream of wand-based innuendo and the lingering thought of what could’ve been had the young Voldemort to be stuck with sugar daddy Indy rather than descending into total evil.
Choice Quote: ‘He got up on his knees and pushed Indiana down on the sand. "Or we could make magic," he whispered, slipping his wand from his pocket.’