The Role: Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) Why Nic Cage Would Have Improved It: At 2011's New York Comic Con, Crank directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor confessed that they had originally envisioned the series with Cage in mind, and hoped that after directing him in Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, they could maybe convince him to appear in Crank 3. Fat chance, but hey, we can dream, right? Now, there's little point denying the brilliant effectiveness of Jason Statham in these movies: he gets what Neveldine and Taylor are shooting for, and he's also young and fit enough that he can aptly convey the energy of the scenario. With Cage in the role, Crank would certainly be a very different movie, but seeing him super-charged and turned up to 11 would allow for even zanier scenarios than have occurred in the franchise to date. Plus, the idea of an out-of-breath Cage running around Los Angeles on drugs, beating up gangsters, screwing his girlfriend in Chinatown and so on fills us with more joy than we ever thought possible. The Crank movies are already pretty great, but with a dash of The Cage, they'd be next-level indeed. Still, if Statham is busy filming something else when Crank 3 (finally) gets the green-light, why not just replace him with Cage, and better yet, don't even explain the change in appearance beyond Burned Zombie Chev getting a skin graft. For a movie like this, it'd totally work.
Stay at home dad who spends as much time teaching his kids the merits of Martin Scorsese as possible (against the missus' wishes).
General video game, TV and film nut. Occasional sports fan. Full time loon.
