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15 Awful Horror Movies That Just Weren't Scary

15. The Human Centipede

Why It Wasn't Scary: Despite selling itself brilliantly on the idea of a demented doctor, Dr. Heiter (Deiter Laser), sewing three poor saps together from a**-to-mouth, director Tom Six coasts too much on the gross premise without actually developing characters or situations worth watching. For one, it's not actually as disgusting as its premise suggests: the centipede itself isn't particularly graphic, the central victims have virtually no character development whatsoever (which isn't too surprising when their mouths are connected to someone else's a**), the plot becomes increasingly contrived, and aside from its central gimmick, the actual manner in which the narrative unfolds is depressingly familiar. How To Improve It: Focus less on the gimmicky ridiculousness of the operation itself and more on the sadism of Dr. Heiter.
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Stay at home dad who spends as much time teaching his kids the merits of Martin Scorsese as possible (against the missus' wishes). General video game, TV and film nut. Occasional sports fan. Full time loon.