15 Horror Films That Prove Hollywood Hates You

Mindboggling in its dopiness, sequel #7 at least starts as it means to go on – with credibility thrown to the wind. After explaining how Michael Myers survived being decapitated at the end of Halloween H20 (“Ohmigod, she killed the wrong person!”), the movie attempts to wring a few more nickels and dimes out of the rubes before collapsing into self-parody as only a down-and-out franchise can.

You’ll hear Donald Pleasance turn over in his grave when Busta Rhymes, as the jive-talkin’ head of “Dangertainment” (a webcast coming from inside the Myers house), kicks down a door with the zinger, “Trick or treat, Motherf***er!” But before that he gets to fight Michael with mixed martial arts and before that he becomes the first person to tell Myers to “scoot, skedaddle, get the f**k outta Dodge” and walk away.

This time-waster may not have much else going for it, but at least it offers an opportunity to play Slasher Movie Bingo. If you’ve never played this before, the ‘rules’ are pretty straightforward. Each player writes down ten clichés (“The bodies have been removed” “Nobody misses the first victim” “It was a practical joke!” etc) and the winner is the first person to tick off all the items on their list. He gets a can of Easy Cheese.