15 Horror Films That Prove Hollywood Hates You

The humble Ouija board was first manufactured in 1891 by the Kennard Novelty Company, which was then sold to the Parker Brothers Toy Company who in turn was swallowed up by Hasbro. In other words, the mysterious oracle that can receive messages from the dead and, in extreme cases, lead to demonic possession, is really a harmless toy sold by the corporation that makes Optimus Prime dolls.

You’d think the board had received enough publicity already from the 1,279 other movies where idiot teenagers attempt to communicate with the dead, but Hasbro and producer Michael Bay think otherwise, so they’ve slapped together a joyless, utterly generic slab of teens-in-peril tosh that doesn’t even have the decency to be funny, intentionally or otherwise.

There isn’t enough going on in the movie to keep your attention, so if you do decide to watch, at least turn it into a drinking game. Then again, if you take a drink every time you think you know what’s going to happen next, you’ll end up being treated for alcohol poisoning, so scratch that thought.