7. Michelangelo Creeping On April - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
The Scene: Shortly after meeting April O'Neil (Megan Fox), Michelangelo can't help but quip to his Turtle brothers, "Shes so hot I can feel my shell tightening", which is the turtle equivalent of, "I've got a raging boner". If you've ever seen a turtle penis, you'll know why this is additionally terrifying. Why It Sucked: It's a running joke throughout the movie that Mikey has the hots for April, and for anyone who ever grew up with these characters, it's an incredibly icky and needless interpretation of what has always been an innocent, friendly relationship. Instead, because Michael Bay produced it, it has to include crude sexual jokes to keep the hormonal teenage boys awake, apparently. As such, the movie takes a beloved member of the Turtles and turns him into a glorified sex pest. Just awful.
Stay at home dad who spends as much time teaching his kids the merits of Martin Scorsese as possible (against the missus' wishes).
General video game, TV and film nut. Occasional sports fan. Full time loon.
