3. Zombie Ass: Toilet Of The Dead (Noboru Iguchi, 2011)
Oh Japan, I'm not sure the rest of the world will ever understand your obsession with all things scatological...but you don't see us complaining either... thanks to craptacular films like Noboru Iguchi's Zombie Ass: Toilet Of The Dead. This film starts off following a group of 5 friends as they head out to go camping in the woods. The main character, Megumi, is just trying to get away so she can escape her thoughts, while her friend Maki plans to find a fish with tapeworm so that she can ingest it and lose wait- hoping it will make her skinny enough to become a supermodel. The other members of the group include Take and Aya- a couple on the rocks- and Naoi, a nerdy guy with some serious medical issues. While hanging out in the forest, the group encounters a Zombie which attacks Take, biting off his finger. After this incident, they set out to find the closest village with hopes they'll be able to get him some medical attention. Instead, however, they wander into a lifeless town full of s**t-throwing zombies! It turns out that a mad scientist and his daughter have formulated some sort of deal with a new type of parasite- called Nekurogedoro- using the townspeople as both guinea pigs for their experiments and hosts/food for the parasitic invaders- in exchange for his daughter's life being spared. Despite having sold out the entire town and left them for dead, his relationship with the Nekurogedoro enabled him to concoct a medicine that can combat the parasitic infection. The parasites are essentially giant double pronged dildos with fangs and an externalized brain. Once the eggs get into your bloodstream (ie if you were bitten by an infected zombie...or ate tainted pasta, for instance), the parasite makes it's way to your brain, consuming it in the process. Once this has happened, one of two things occurs. Either your head explodes, or you are turned into a zombie with the parasite in your ass, using you as a host. Scatological humour aside, there are a number of great kills in this movie, with a fair combination of real and digital effects. These range from head's bulging and exploding to an ass-to-mouth impalement. But the most ridiculous kill of the film is definitely the death of the Queen Parasite (which has infected Maki). The Queen Parasite protruding from Maki's ass wraps itself around Aya, shooting down her throat and out her ass, in the process. It then goes on to attack Megumi, who shoots both Aya and Maki in the head, expecting to kill them (as that is how the other zombified villagers had effectively been taken out). This kills Aya but, does not kill the Queen Parasite inside of Maki. Instead, she molts into a flying insectoid creature, and grabs the scientist's daughter, who continue to attack Megumi, together. Megumi- who is infected herself- is mentally strong enough to control her parasite, however...and an epic battle ensues between the flying parasitic mutant that's holding a knife wielding litte girl and Megumi with her anal parasite. Did I mention this is taking place in mid air, with Megumi keeping herself up via farts? Anyways... after knocking the girl out of the arms of the creature, Megumi manages to inject a syringe full of medicine into the-thing-formely-know-as-Maki's ass...causing it to explode. It's hard to do justice with text, to how absurd this film really is. It has to be seen to be believed. Make's me wonder what it would be like if they brought 4-D back...