4. 'The Dude' From The Big Lebowski
Beard's don't come much cooler or more laid back than Jeff Bridge's straggly old goatee in The Big Lebowski. Sure it might not be much to look at in terms of volume and to the untrained eye it may look deader than The Dude's rug after it's peed on by nihilists but to a beard enthusiast such as myself it's so much more than that. You see this type of beard has one purpose and one purpose only and we see evidence of it fulfilling its purpose time and time again throughout the movie. The Dude - or Jeff Lebowski as his mother named him - loves to drink. Sure beer is fine on occasion as are most other alcoholic beverages but the drink of choice for The Dude is an ice cold White Russian. Unlike beer a White Russian contains milk and as you probably know milk is one messy substance. How many times have you downed a glass of the white stuff only to discover you've given yourself a funny looking moustache? Well given The Dude's proclivity to slop his drink around as he animatedly talks with his hands his gnarly old goatee acts as the perfect sponge soaking up all that wasted alcohol. Sure it hangs there looking all disgusting but once he's regained his senses and stopped being so damned careless with his drink he can drain it from his beard back into the glass. Now that my friend's is why beard's are a man's best friend. Beard's have been known to soak up other things as well but we won't go into those here.