Youve seen every type of movie list imaginable: Best Movies, Worst Movies, Most Expensive Movies, Movies With Kevin Bacons Penis, etc. But which movies have spent the most money to suck the hardest? Through years of painstaking research, we have developed a sophisticated space-age algorithm (dividing the inflation-adjusted budget by the films current Rotten Tomatometer approval rating) to help us answer just that question. And the winners are:
5. Evan Almighty - $196M budget, 23% Tomatometer, $8,521,739 per suck
Evan Almighty is, by most accounts, the most expensive comedy ever made, a fact that establishes once and for all that boatloads of studio money cant make a bad script good, or even mediocre, or really anything but unfathomably, soul-crushingly bad. The producers of the popular and well-received Bruce Almighty, unable to talk Jim Carrey into returning for a sequel, did what any reasonable producers would do: they elevated a supporting character to the starring role and promptly doubled the budget. As if the near-total dearth of laugh-worthy (or even chuckle-worthy) lines in the script wasnt a big enough problem, matters were made decidedly worse by the decision to browbeat the audience with a bunch of sanctimonious environmental finger-wagging, because theres nothing comedy audiences enjoy more than not laughing while being condescended to with lectures about what a despicable bunch of planet-murdering a$$holes they are. Steve Carells portrayal of title character Evan Baxter is a challenging one for the viewer, who is left to decide whether he or she is witnessing A) a fictional character overwhelmed by the weight of his new God-given responsibility, or B) a real-life actor realizing that seven-figure paydays really arent that great after all. Evan Almighty is, above all, a stark reminder of the state of abject non-funniness to which a gifted comic actor can be reduced by just the right confluence of horrid script, indifferent direction, hackneyed socio-political subtext, and a role that properly exploits almost none of the actor's talents. No, Eddie Murphy, why would you think we're talking about you?