5 Stupendously Dumb Moments In Roland Emmerich Movies

1. Mel Gibson Spears A Horse With The American Flag - The Patriot

The-Patriot-movie-2000 Remember a time when any movie was made better by adding swords, gore and/or explosions? When we all thought Mad Max was just a character that Mel Gibson played in the movies? Coming at the height of that era was The Patriot, an action-adventure film centered around the Revolutionary War and focusing on man€™s innate need to be free at all€”wait, no, it€™s actually about an ex-warrior with a blood-soaked past sticking pointy things into every British soldier he comes in contact with as he avenges his young son€™s death. Someone somewhere thought this was going to be Emmerich€™s move to more serious fare, but for me personally, this is as egregious as Godzilla. As a result of the copious liberties, it takes with history and its endless desire to make British Redcoats the era-equivalent of Nazi soldiers, not to mention the just plain stupid plotting, simpering jingoism and butt-numbing run time, The Patriot is quite possibly Emmerich€™s lumpiest, most infuriating concoction. Gibson€™s Ben Martin, broadly based on Francis Marion, the Swamp Fox, to the point he might as well be an actual talking fox, stalks the vile Col. Tavington across America the Beautiful, intent on killing him. Along the way, we are supposed to believe that Martin has started to reconcile his murderous past with the ideals of his sons, who want to fight for freedom and a liberated country, instead of merely trudging along on a path of vengeance. That seems to be the way things are headed and then Tavington goes off and murders Martin€™s other boy, and the big battle finale features Gibson marching into the war with his son€™s flag held high and waving. It€™s a powerful moment where a man is subverting his own driven desires for a deeper, higher€”wait, no, he then takes the flag and uses it to spear a horse, unseating its rider. A few minutes later he€™s doing what he arrogantly foreshadowed earlier, garroting Tavington on the field of battle. Huzzah! The hyper-violent Gibson action hero using the quintessential symbol of American freedom to mortally wound a British soldier€™s horse is perhaps the single most idiotic image Emmerich has ever crafted; that it€™s at the center of a supposedly serious epic is even worse. The best part is that this little scene officially marks the moment where The Simpsons€™ over-the-top satire became prophetic. Almost a year prior to The Patriot€™s release, the show€™s season premiere boasted an episode entitled €œWelcome to Blunder Dome€ and featured Mel voicing a caricature of himself who, with Homer€™s help, remade Mr. Smith Goes to Washington with a violent ending. Gibson€™s Smith prepares for the famous filibuster scene by hurling an American flag and spearing a Senator. When your straight-faced historical epic is pre-empted by Matt Groening, you should probably rethink your dramatic approach. What do you think of the list? Emmerich's got a glut of lunk-headed moments to his name. Which are your favorite/most despised moments?
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Nathan Bartlebaugh hasn't written a bio just yet, but if they had... it would appear here.