4. Michael The Geordie - Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa
One of the most shockingly pointless deaths of 2013 came from Alpha Papa. Well, that's if it was actually a death. After successfully navigating both a hostage situation and a company re-brand, Alan Partridge finds himself trapped on Cromer Pier after a tense escape from the Radio Norwich bus via the chemical toilet's septic tank. After a brief chase, and despite Alan's best SAS tactical movements, he comes face to face with Pat, his former friend who has come to the realisation that Alan encouraged the board members of the new radio station to 'just sack Pat', thus saving his own skin. Pat and Alan are face to face, Pat armed with a shotgun and Alan less impressively so with an air rifle from one of the amusements. Alan's long-time friend Michael the Geordie suddenly arrives on the scene, yelling for Pat to look at him as he leaps over the side of the pier and into the swell below. We never see Michael again, nor do we see his body being recovered from the sea and we are left to merely assume that he has died - the not knowing is the worst. Long-time Partridge fans were naturally shocked at seeing this beloved character hurl himself to an utterly pointless death (much in the same way he threw his pet macaque into the sea for eating all his fags whilst stationed in Belize). Despite his death being a tragic reminder of his idiocy, we will all miss Michael and his endearing simple nature.
