7. If You See The Next Shot Coming from a Mile Off
As a general rule of thumb, if I attempt to predict the next shot coming in a movie, based on my knowledge of cinematic tropes, and Im right, then the film has nothing to offer me and it goes off. Thats a shallow, cynical way to watch movies you might cry. Yes. Yes it is. But think about it, if I can predict as fine a detail as what the next shot will be, how can said movie possibly go on to offer me any cinematic sustenance? Basically, if youre predicting a shot and youre getting it right, then youve seen enough of the previous movies within the genre to know pretty much exactly how this film is going to play out. So why waste another 100 minutes of your life on a product thats clearly inferior to something youve already consumed? Trust me, there are enough movies out there to be picky, all youve got to do is look for them. Think of it as a game you watch the set up (Honey, we should take 59th street, No darling, well take 4th street and cut across, itll be much quicker, But theres always a traffic jam on 4th, well never make it on time for [
insert important, unmissable event], Of course we will sweetheart. Trust me) - thats when you cry Next shot: stuck in traffic! Ding, ding, ding, ding. You get the prize. Now grab your coat and find your nearest exit. Youre a winner.