2. Sweet Home Alabama
So your sweety ran away, huh? Here's a sure-fire way to win her back: refuse to sign the divorce papers. This way she'll be forced to come knocking on your door years later and will inevitably fall prey to your manly charms (your ability to wear sweaty undershirts and be argumentative) once again. You'll also have the opportunity to remind her of your romantic past together (like that time she miscarried your kid) and have a loaded conversation in a pet cemetery. If all else fails, you could always expose her true background to her new fiancé (because that doesn't scream petty and childish
at all) to send him running for the hills. If by some chance she
still hasn't come round, show off your blown-glass empire that you built to win her back. Maybe she'll feel sorry for you and resign herself to your trailer. But probably not.