1. Catwoman (2004)
The Movie: So there was a meeting in Hollywood once where a bunch of rich people sat down and started talking about making a
Catwoman movie. "So, how, about, like, Halle Berry to star?" one of these rich people said, to which the others clapped and agreed that this was wonderful, inspired casting. "Great," said another. "And how about that guy who genuinely refers to himself as "Pitof" to direct this thing? Like, how about we actually hire a guy called "Pitof" to direct this movie? His name will be billed like that in the credits also." All this chit-chat led to what is now thought of as one of the worst movies ever made, and the true abomination of all superhero films to date. How did they not see that coming? Surely hiring Pitof to helm
Catwoman was a fail safe device of sorts? No? How strange. You would've thought that the second unit director on
Alien Resurrection would've been totally up to the challenge. There's even a scene where Catwoman comes to terms with her new powers playing basketball, just like when Ripley does it in
Alien Resurrection. Halle Berry got a Razzie for this one, and accepted it with the following speech: "First of all, I want to thank Warner Brothers. Thank you for putting me in a piece of shit, God-awful movie... It was just what my career needed." That's right: her Razzie acceptance speech is more memorable and worthy of your time than
Catwoman in its entirety.
Overlooked Positive: It ends. After 104 long, hellish, mind-numbingly painful minutes, it ends.
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