8 Popular Fan Theories That Completely Ignore The Movie They're About

3. These People Aren't The Doctor Because That Requires Ignoring Everything

Look, I like Doctor Who as much as the next person who was the right age to watch the first few seasons of the rebooted series and develop a bizarre sense of loyalty to the programme (on that note, how good was Series 9?), but Whovian obsession is getting ridiculous. It's just a pretty silly British TV show, remarkable in the medium's history more for its longevity than continued quality, and really doesn't deserve to be hyped up as something that sits alongside Game Of Thrones in genre television.

The epitome of all this is the suggestion that Christopher Walken in Click, Mary Poppins, Willy Wonka or (because people really can't accept the loose continuity) James Bond are really Time Lords (or, if they're male, maybe the Doctor himself). It normally circles around the characters being ethereal and all-knowing beings with some odd abilities in what otherwise appears to be a pretty realistic world, which seems to assume that Doctor Who has a monopoly on contemporary-set fantasy and eccentric loners.

Even if it wasn't awful thinking, this totally misreads the show the whole theory's based on. For starters, we know the Doctor's entire timeline and the order of his many faces (The Day Of The Doctor cleared up any narrative discrepancy there), so that's him out as any of these characters. And when you consider that he's something of a Time Lord renegade, mocked by his people for loving Earth (specifically council flats in London and places within a fifty minute drive from Cardiff), it seems odd to suggest there'd be another of his species chilling about doing the exact same thing.