8 Times Jake Gyllenhaal Fought His Own Hotness (And Won)
1. Southpaw (2015)
Its only a year later and Jake couldnt look more different. His new movie Southpaw is out this week and rumours of his bulking up were met with delight from Jake Is Actually A Babe truthers such as myself. And then the press images were released and...well.
This may be his most creative attempt yet at burying his attractiveness and that is really saying something. After all, this is the guy who is 2005 narrated the animated film The Man Who Walked Between Towers. So keen was he to hide his beauty under a bushel that he chose to do a movie in which he literally did not appear. I had thought the greatest weapon against hotness was invisibility...until now. Its pretty hard to look hot with a face full of blood.
This movie honestly feels like a direct slap in the face to those of us who've been flying the Sexy Jake flag. Spend months publically working on your body, show up in tabloids in deliciously tight t-shirts and then just spend the whole movie whacked about the head so that you're basically unrecognisable.
Congratulations Jake. The war is over and you have definitely won. We shall all bow down before you, our King of Fighting The Hot.