8 Times Jake Gyllenhaal Fought His Own Hotness (And Won)

2. Nightcrawler (2014)

And so, we come to it. Nightcrawler. Jake€™s piece de resistance of anti-hotness. The point at which we all must throw up our hands and commend him on his successful 13-year troll job on the world. His 20s have been squandered on roles that required him to neither smile a lot nor take off his clothes and now here he is, in his 30s, happily throwing himself off the hotness cliff once and for all.

Nightcrawler is...look, it€™s a creepfest start to finish. Jake plays a guy who tracks and tampers with crime scenes. It€™s mostly shot at night. At one point he tries to blackmail a woman into having sex with him. It€™s such a work of unhot art than I have to commend him for it.

And no one can accuse him of not committing to his lack of hotness. In order to look as terrifying and sick as possible, Jake lost about 30 pounds before filming began. He was also a producer, which meant that, likely, no one was making him lose that weight. That€™s a choice he made for himself and in a way we should all be grateful because we now know the exact point at which high cheekbones go from desirable to genuinely scary.

Contributor
Contributor

Brydie is an Australian writer and performer living in London and she complains exactly the same amount about the weather as every other Australian living in London. Yes, that is her natural lip colour, no, she will not be taking any further questions at this time.