2. Tromeo and Juliet (1996)
By far and away, the best trashy movie that those mavens of trash - Troma - ever made, Tromeo and Juliet is a very funny, transgressive adaptation of Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet. How could you not love a film that features Lemmy from Motorhead as the narrator? The story centres around Tromeo Que and Juliet Capulet. Tromeo lives with his alcoholic father Monty and works in a tattoo parlour with his cousin Benny and friend Murray. Juliet lives with her abusive father Cappy, indifferent mother Ingrid and her protective cousin Tyrone. She is having a lesbian affair with the family servant Ness. There is an escalation of violence and ill will between the Ques and the Capulets. Tromeo attends a masquerade ball at the Capulets, dressed as a cow, and falls in love at first sight with Juliet and the feeling is mutual. The two share a dance until an irate Tyrone chases Tromeo out of the house. A disgusted Cappy imprisons his daughter in a plastic cage but he cannot tear Juliet away from her Tromeo and with the help of Father Lawrence (a paedo priest), they get married in secret. When Tyrone finds out about this he wants to fight Tromeo, but Tromeo is not interested so he has a go at Murray instead - killing him with his club. This finally shakes Tromeo out of his complacency, and in a fit of rage, he kills Tyrone. Tromeo is forced into hiding. Meanwhile Cappy is displeased with Juliet and forces her into a marriage with the dim witted and utterly insane London Arbuckle, a meat tycoon. In secret she meets with Tromeo and they obtain a potion to help her on her wedding day. This potion turns her into a mutant cow with a three foot long penis. Arbuckle jumps out of the window to get away from her. An irate Cappy tries to rape and kill his daughter until Tromeo appears and brings back the regular Juliet with a kiss. She then electrocutes Cappy. There then follows a terrific denouement which reveals the secret behind the Capulet/Que rivalry and leaves both Tromeo and Juliet a major bombshell that may threaten their future. A Troma film held in relative good regard by the critics and fans, Tromeo and Juliet is a more coherent film than most Troma films in that there is a strong narrative and story drive behind the movie. It's not just people being gross for no reason. There are motives behind their actions. It is still a pretty disgusting film which delivers plenty of gore and kinky stuff for fans of Troma and trashy movies. It zips along with a frenetic pace and an awesome heavy metal soundtrack. The acting is excellent and the dialogue is snappy and quotable. Far far more interesting than the version starring Leonardo Di Caprio, Tromeo and Juliet is actually pretty faithful to the Shakespeare play (except the sex, drugs and rock n roll) and delivers a big 'F**k You' to mainstream cinema. Impossible not to like if you are a dyed in the wool trash addict. It is simply glorious!