Cats 2019: Every Song Ranked From Least To Most Horrifying

It may have come and gone so quickly that it was almost like a dream, but nobody will ever forget the horrifying images seared into our eyes from this musical film.

CATS was probably one of the best made worst films of all time, largely due to the mastery and hard work put into the performances of the top tier dancers and singers struggling to bring life to material that made many viewers beg for death. It's definitely worth watching, dancing merrily into "so bad it's good" territory, but best viewed with friends in a place where you can laugh at the absurdity of it.

While there's some artistic value in the horny death cult movie, the fact that so many people reviewed it with colourful terms such as "joyless pussies" and "nightmare that wouldn't end" means that there is definitely something to the horrors of CGI cat-people.

And because this film is basically just a bunch of songs from the musical stitched together with barely the attempt at any real plot, here's a list of the songs ranked by how bearable and even enjoyable they were to watch, to how much they'll haunt your nightmares.

This was unequivocally the best scene in the whole film, despite the absurdity of it conceptually. One would think that a tap-dancing mustachioed cat in red overalls and tap shoes who brings the other humanoid cats to a train yard and manages the train's goings-on would rank way higher on a list of horrors, but the truth of the matter is that the song, Skimbleshanks The Railway Cat, is exactly what the entire film was meant to be.

This sequence feels divorced from the rest of the film with how high-energy, enjoyable, and well-done it is. It's a delightful romp that had both actors and audiences smiling the whole way, Steven McRae as Skimbleshanks showing off truly astounding prowess as a dancer, with Robert Fairchild's Munkustrap sounding like he's having the time of his life talking about this particularly delightful cat.

Being that it's the most fully-realised part of the film, with the song itself enjoyable to listen to on repeat, all the strange events within just feel natural, like magic in a children's film, making this one of the best, and least troubling, of all the film's sequences. Even if it ends with Skimbleshanks pirouetting into the ceiling.