Every Bond Girl Ranked - Worst To Best

The World is Not Enough made it abundantly clear that the 007 producers apparently hadn’t learned a thing from the casting of Tanya Roberts 14 years earlier. The very idea of Denise Richards of all people as a NUCLEAR PHYSICIST dressed like Lara Croft is arguably less convincing than Kananga’s inflatable demise in Live and Let Die.

It would be somewhat difficult to believe Richards in the role of a competent pizza delivery girl, let alone someone who needs to talk about plutonium, hydrogen bombs, and tritium leakage. She does her best to be taken seriously but it doesn’t help that the film itself seems intent on treating her like a joke at every opportunity, right down to the character’s name.

It goes without saying that Bond girls have been dealt some truly ridiculous monikers over the years but “Christmas Jones” was seemingly conceived of solely for the purpose of the film’s concluding “I thought Christmas only comes once a year” gag.

The whole diabolical marriage of actress and character seems like nothing more than a parody of Bond, akin to Austin Powers. Add dialogue like “isn’t it time you unwrapped your present” into the equation, and this isn't just any Bond parody, it’s a soft-core porn Bond parody.

Best moment: Dr Christmas Jones is the only person to notice that Bond isn’t a 63 year old man, and so probably isn’t Mikhail Arkov, the Russian scientist he's impersonating.

Worst moment: As mentioned, the entire existence of Dr Christmas Jones is a setup to a punchline. In her first meeting with Bond, she warns him that she’s heard every Christmas joke she under the sun, but it’s doubtful she’d ever heard one quite that bad.