EVERY Halloween Death RANKED By Stupidity

Teddy - Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Halloween III: Season of the Witch Teddy
Universal

Helping to dig into the mystery of Silver Shamrock and its androids, Teddy is tinkering away, investigating some android's ashes and remains, which means she's kind of aware that something sinister is happening. So, you could say she should probably be a little more diligent and on edge, rather than just sitting in her office, oblivious to her surroundings.

Those surroundings? Why, they just so happen to have one of Conal Cochran's goons lurking in the background, where he grabs a power drill and introduces it to Teddy's head.

Tina Williams - Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers Tina Williams
Galaxy Releasing

She may have been a completely unlikeable character, but you can't fault Tina for sacrificing herself for Jamie Lloyd.

Throughout Halloween 5, Tina is just so, so annoying, making it all the more baffling a decision for the film to kill off Rachel Carruthers so early, switching in Tina as a lame Rachel replacement. But when it comes to crunch time at the start of the final act, with Michael Myers about to stab Jamie, it's Tina who stops the Shape and puts herself in his crosshairs, taking a bullet - well, knife - for Jamie.

Rather than stupid, this was more of a noble decision from Tina, knowingly giving up her own life for Jamie's.

The Unnamed Paramedic - Halloween H20/Halloween: Resurrection

Halloween H20 Michael Myers
Dimension Films

Ah, this rascal of a fakeout...

As Halloween H20 ends, Laurie Strode has beheaded Michael Myers, finally putting a permanent stop to the Shape. Of course, the opening sequence of Halloween: Resurrection explains that Michael had actually swapped places with an unnamed paramedic in H20, having crushed that paramedic's windpipe so that he was unable to tell Laurie that she was about to decapitate the wrong person.

Ranking this death for the stupidity of that paramedic is tough, as Michael Myers is obviously a force of nature. If nothing else, it's an incredibly convoluted death; one that ruined an exceptional H20 ending, even if this switcheroo was always planned and that Resurrection explanation was even filmed during the H20 shoot.

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Senior Writer
Senior Writer

Once described as the Swiss Army Knife of WhatCulture, Andrew can usually be found writing, editing, or presenting on a wide range of topics. As a lifelong wrestling fan, horror obsessive, and comic book nerd, he's been covering those topics professionally as far back as 2010. In addition to his current WhatCulture role of Senior Content Producer, Andrew previously spent nearly a decade as Online Editor and Lead Writer for the world's longest-running genre publication, Starburst Magazine, and his work has also been featured on BBC, TechRadar, Tom's Guide, WhatToWatch, Sportkskeeda, and various other outlets, in addition to being a Rotten Tomatoes-approved film critic. Between his main day job, his role as the lead panel host of Wales Comic Con, and his gig as a pre-match host for Wrexham AFC games, Andrew has also carried out a hugely varied amount of interviews, from the likes of Robert Englund, Kane Hodder, Adrienne Barbeau, Rob Zombie, Katharine Isabelle, Leigh Whannell, Bruce Campbell, and Tony Todd, to Kevin Smith, Ron Perlman, Elijah Wood, Giancarlo Esposito, Simon Pegg, Charlie Cox, the Russo Brothers, and Brian Blessed, to Kevin Conroy, Paul Dini, Tara Strong, Will Friedle, Burt Ward, Andrea Romano, Frank Miller, and Rob Liefeld, to Bret Hart, Sting, Mick Foley, Ricky Starks/Saints, Jamie Hayter, Britt Baker, Eric Bischoff, and William Regal, to Mickey Thomas, Joey Jones, Phil Parkinson, Brian Flynn, Denis Smith, Gary Bennett, Karl Connolly, and Bryan Robson - and that's just the tip of an ever-expanding iceberg. Where his beloved Wrexham AFC is concerned, Andrew is co-host of the Fearless in Devotion podcast, which won the Club Podcast of the Year gong at the 2024 FSA Awards.