Every Hellraiser Movie Ranked From Worst To Best

Pinhead has really tortured us over the years.

Hellraiser I am In Hell
Dimension FIlms

Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees aren’t to be taken lightly in dark alleys, but Hellraiser’s Pinhead is the last horror icon you’d ever want to cross.

Victims of the sadistic hell fiend would be better off taking their chances with Leatherface’s chainsaw, and the fact they probably deserved their grisly fate is never any consolation to them, or the traumatised viewers who have to witness their demise.

The Cenobite has been getting his hooks into deviants since 1987, tearing souls apart in nine movies of varying quality ever since.

Most fans would agree that the Hellraisers range from terrifying from to terrifyingly bad, and to celebrate Halloween, here’s every one of them ranked from worst to best.

9. Hellraiser: Revelations

Hellraiser I am In Hell
Dimension

There’s a scene in Clive Barker’s latest Pinhead novel, The Scarlet Gospels, in which one of the characters kicks the Cenobite’s puzzle box into the fires of hell - and this is exactly what should happen to all DVD and Blu-ray copies of Hellraiser: Revelations.

Ejected out of the gates at Dimension Films in a desperate attempt to retain the Hellraiser license, the ninth entry in the series was the first instalment without the great Doug Bradley in the role of the nail-faced antagonist, but that’s only the beginning of its problems.

Although replacement Pinhead Stephan Smith Collins fails to emulate Bradley’s dark gravitas at every turn, he can only really shoulder part of the blame, since the laughable dialogue and one-dimensional teen leads are no less excruciating.

Barker put it best when he wrote on social media: “If they claim [Revelations] is from the mind of Clive Barker, it’s a lie. It’s not even from my butthole.”

It’s from somebody’s butthole, that’s for sure.

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Been prattling on about gaming, movies, TV, football and technology across the web for as long as I can remember. Find me on Twitter @MarkLangshaw