The Expendables embargo was removed at 8pm (U.K. time) last night and now that
Sly Stallone's actioner has screened for the majority of critics, a clear and fully expected split of opinion is forming amongst the early reviewers. It's easy to predict how the mass reaction is going to fall from here. Smart minded critics who know a dumb, brainless, Z-ride roller-coaster when they see one will ultimately call it an incoherent, one-dimensional failure. Most who hold this opinion have pointed to it's gimmick casting as the only strength in The Expendables' ammo, and you guys would probably agree if the movie were led by
John Cena, instead of Stallone. Fanboy sites (I know, Obsessed With Film is one of them) who want to stay hip, will like it.
Den of Geek, for example, has given it a good review and I kid you not - they have pointed to one of it's plus points as being a movie with
'Lots of bullets that never seem to hit anyone'.
Jesus.Todd Brown at Twitch knows the movie ain't great but was entertained enough to give it a solid review. Fair enough, I like Todd and his site but let's remember he runs an outfit that exists to promote niche movies and this kind of movie is right up his alley. At the end of the day there's nothing wrong with liking The Expendables but don't get too aggressive in your comments to
Rob's well written piece because only a few months back many of you were saying the same thing about the IQ level of women who paid to see
Sex and the City 2. We are just calling a spade a spade, and for me - there's no discernible difference to knocking The Expendables as being a dumb movie for dumb people, as there is calling SATC 2 a mindless movie for mindless women. Just as I can live with the critics who called
Kick-Ass a dumb movie for a dumb audience. Here's a selection of early reviews;
Peter DeBruge at Variety;
"...a nearly incoherent all-stars-on-deck actioner that plays like "Grown Ups" on nitro or a brutish, blue-collar "Ocean's Eleven... The muddled execution falls far short of the talent involved"
Giving the movie a C grade,
Emmanuel Levy says;
"Sylvester Stallones all-star actioner is not only dispensable but utterly disposable".
Katey Rich from
Cinema Blend;
"The Expendables, though, is a bloated mess, a bunch of guys past their prime punching and kicking each other and pretending its for our benefit, when its really just one last self-congratulatory hurrah.if you were old enough to love Rambo III un-ironically the first time around, you're way too old now to be fooled by the dull and desperate Expendables".
Jeff Wells on The Expendables;
"It has to be said that the dopey (and sometimes hilarious) splatter-gore spills that sold Stallone's last Rambo film don't pay off as well in The Expendables. Too much time and effort is spent on character embroidery and smart-ass macho camaraderie... He seems content to operate from his safety zone, and to me that spells lazy-ass. Hell, it is lazy. Would that this film had been assembled by high-grade, top-talent people. I would have been down with The Expendables if it had been a '90s Jerry Bruckheimer steak dinner. But it's not -- it's tacos and cheese with chips.