9. Michael Shannon
I think Michael Shannon is a fantastic actor, and comes across as a pretty chilled, humble dude in interviews. But you know what? If I were the casting agent for Fifty Shades of Grey, I wouldn't yell at my cowering personal assistant, 'GET ME MIKE SHANNON ON THE PHONE! GO CALL THAT SWELTERING HUNK OF MAN MEAT, HE'S PERFECT FOR THE PART OF STEELE'S BODY-SANDWICH BUDDY! THEN GET ME A SOY CAPPUCCINO!' You know why?
Because casting Michael Shannon as a romantic lead in anything is just plain nuts. And I prefer to drink soy
lattes, thank you very much. Much like a manatee that revels floating around in the Amazon, so is Michael Shannon in his natural habitat when he is playing batshit crazies. He's brilliant at it! Magnificent! But whilst Christian Grey certainly has some issues, the character is not quite on the level of loony where Michael Shannon would need to be called in. And if Boardwalk Empire
has taught us anything, it's that the only thing more horrifying than Michael Shannon playing a weird and obsessive religious fanatic is watching said weird and obsessive religious fanatic have hardcore sweaty sex with Paz De La Huerta.