Fifty Shades Of Grey Movie: 10 Moments We Definitely Won't See

5. Religious Toys and the Red Room of Pain

And just why not you may be asking. I'll tell you why. If this movie dares to display any type of explicit BDSM act involving any type of religious symbolism not only will it have trouble receiving a hard R rating, but also Christian conservatives will swoop down on it like Killgore's Air-Cav helicopters in Apocalypse Now to deliver the coup de grace before the end of opening night. You can say what you want about them, but Christian organizations have been very effective in laying a lot of heat on films with material they disapprove of in the past (The Golden Compass). A Fifty Shades of Grey movie already won't need help in that department let alone adding in scenes with bondage toys mentioned in the book that have religious connotations like the cat-o-nine tails and St. Albert's Cross. First thing that will happen is somebody will draw a comparison to the crucifixion sequence in Passion of the Christ and its game over.