Fifty Shades Of Grey Review: 14 Hilariously Awful Moments

12. The Absurdly Tame Sex Scenes

If you're seeing this movie hoping for some graphic sex, prepare to be disappointed, because despite the out-there nature of the novel, there's not really much here you wouldn't see in a softcore porn movie. Johnson shows off her a**, boobs and her bush, while Dornan shows off his sculpted chest and butt, but if you're after more extensive glimpses of their genitalia, the movie is a sure disappointment. Shots frequently tease showing something more revealing but then cut away at the last minute, and a lot of the sex is cloaked in "tasteful" low lighting to allow the actors to maintain their modesty. Prior to the movie's release, it was announced that re-shoots would have to take place, reportedly to spice up the sex scenes, yet given how frequently dull and un-sexy they are here, one can only wonder what sort of disaster they were dealing with initially. The cringe-worthy style is, aptly enough, reminiscent of a crappy softcore porn film...because that's exactly what this is, but with higher production values. While these scenes aren't very sexy, they are pretty corny, and therefore also rather funny...