Gremlins Reboot: 10 Reasons We'd Rather Stare At Bright Lights

5. Merchandising, Merchandising, Merchandising

GizzyProblem: We've gone from an era where cool plastic toys, and maybe a couple cheesy t-shirts, would do for a film's marketing campaign; to this. A T-Shirt, with an overly reductive/cutesy concept and a play on an outdated catchphrase. Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you, where did we go wrong? To make a Gremlins film now would be to ensure a Gizmo in every Happy Meal, a Stripe in every Spencer's, and I Less Than Three Billy stickers in every Hot Topic. The Gremlins brand is something that was safe in the 1980's, but is now ripe for abuse thanks to the nostalgia crazed/"clever" culture we live in today. If They HAVE To...: ...stick to the old stuff. Let NECA Toys continue to do their fine work with the classic character designs, and maybe re-release the vintage tie-in novel that fans have been dying to read again, thanks to its deleted content from the film. Also, no matter how much the executives cry, no matter how much they plead, never...NEVER release a video game like you almost did back in the days of the Playstation 2! It's either Call of Duty: Mogwai Warrior, or go home.
Contributor
Contributor

Mike Reyes may or may not be a Time Lord, but he's definitely the Doctor Who editor here at What Culture. In addition to his work at What Culture, Mr. Reyes writes for Cocktails and Movies, as well as his own personal blogs Mr. Controversy and The Bookish Kind. On top of that, he's also got a couple Short Stories and Novels in various states of completion, like any good writer worth their salt. He resides in New Jersey, and compiles his work from all publications on his Facebook page.