6. Broken Balls: When Fortune Turns Foul
I've no idea why I think this would be good. Yet really, with a title like that, it'd be worth sticking in the multiplex for sheer gumption alone. Ok, title aside, let's be serious. This book is all about Divination, which was richly mined for comedy in The Prisoner Of Azkaban by none other than Emma Thompson. I know it was divisive, but I really enjoyed Thompson's performance as Professor Trelawney, full of faux-spiritualism and overly airy-fairy mannerisms, and I think any chance to stick her back on-screen would be a good thing. Remember, though Trelawney is in fact a terrible Seer she's only given the job by Dumbledore as a way of protecting her from Voldemort she does occasionally get something right. Yet in a potential film about whether her most terrible predictions could come true or not, you might have something akin to a wizard's Minority Report. Remember, the details of Divination are purposefully left vague, as befitting such a vague subject. So really, Rowling would have free rein to create all the mythos around it that she sees fit, potentially creating something mind-churningly awesome about fate, consequence and the importance of choices. Again, it's like Minority Report, except the protagonists can shoot lightning at each other. How cool does that sound? Rowling's already proven she can do trippy, layered change-your-fate writing in the Prisoner Of Azkaban, so as long as she keeps the time-turners out of this one, perhaps we'll have something incredibly clever on your hands.