20. You Only Live Twice
This film is single-handedly responsible for Austin Powers, so that is why I hold it in serious disregard. Not even a script by Roald Dahl, who is made up of 1% flesh & bond and 99% awesome can stop me from disliking this film. Shock Horror!, but Im not particularly fond of Connery (maybe its a generational thing), and I find him particularly smarmy and cock here, and not at all macho or like a killer, which impressed me so much in his first 3 films, and Thunderball to an extent. Here he feels like Moore, but without the knowing wit. Connery is Connery, but here Connery is not Connery but a smug git instead. I think the piranhas are awesome, and Donald Pleasances iconic portrayal of Blofeld still sends shivers down my spine (though I could do without the bloody cat), even though he is not my favourite out of the three actors to portray him properly . I dont like the theme tune, but I do like Helga Brandt a lot! I remember being very sad when she died at the hands of Piranhas, as I did with Kelly Brook in Piranha 3D erm, I digress! Basically, like Moonraker it feels less an espionage film and more of a science-fiction film. I dont care about Bond, whats happening to him or what hes going through. And whilst I, again, appreciate it was made in a simpler time, the casual racism, Connerys disguise as a Japanese man and the very forgettable and underdeveloped bond girl really ruin it for me. So, whilst many consider this up there with Goldfinger, I really dont.