7. No Kids
Ugh,
the kids. The kids in the first two
Jurassic Park movies are surely some of the most annoying nippers to have ever graced cinematic ground, especially when you remember all the screaming they end up doing - not to mention the initial hard time that Lex and Tim give Alan Grant in the original. I mean, yeah, that girl gymnastic-kicked a velociraptor in the
Lost World, but c'mon, that's just a bizarre, irritatingly Speilbergian touch that looks dated in retrospect. Why couldn't Jeff Goldblum of kicked a velociraptor instead? Now
that's timeless. Aside from the fact that the kids in the
Jurassic Park franchise haven't set a particularly good example for kids in dinosaur movies, ultimately there would have to be an insanely insane reason for any characters to consider taking a child (or children, for that matter) to a place renowed for its dinosaur infestations. What I'm basically saying is: we could really do without any kids in this entry, because - so far - they've bugged the hell out of us.