10. The Greatest Underwear Debate Of Our Time
Grown men have passionately argued about what should and shouldn't adorn Superman's crotch. This may warrant some ironic statement like "this is why you can't get a girlfriend" or "and terrorists say they hate our freedoms." But with careful consideration, it becomes apparent that this dispute has larger ramifications than most people care to admit. Why? Because it's Superman. He's still - and will continue to be - the definitive superhero. His choice in crotchal aesthetics will dictate the crotch choices for generations of superheros to come. This is a big crotch decision. One that should not be taken laying down. Or, if I'm going to be serious: who gives a #!*%? It's been a long time coming, since I'm pretty sure that strongman tights are, like, at least fifty years out of fashion - to say nothing of 1989's Batman paving the way on how to make a superhero work on the big screen (to say nothing of changing superhero aesthetics in general). I know this isn't a big deal for most, but the fact that it's a big deal for anyone is beyond me. The new Superman ensemble for Henry Cavill works, and works well. True, an explanation as to why the classic Superman outfit was on that crashed spaceship would've been nice. People have suggested that Jor-El's hologram makes it for Clark. I can run with that - but if that's the case, then Jor-El is truly a renaissance man: a scientist, a conservationist, a man who makes babies the old-fashioned way, who fights his own battles, who rides winged alien beasts bareback, a controversial trailblazer who finally decided that Kryptonian outfits could do with a splash of color. That's one hell of a resume.
Anyway, I think we can all agree that what really counts is what's inside the underwear. And on that ledger, from Christopher Reeve to Henry Cavill, one thing is obvious: Supes is hung like a giant Kryptonian space bear whose cells have been super-charged by Earth's yellow sun.