Mayan Apocalypse: 4 Deadly Warnings And How To Survive

2. The Asylum €˜2012€™ Trilogy

THE PREDICTION: This one€™s for everyone that mistakenly bought €˜Battle of Los Angeles€™ instead of €˜Battle Los Angeles€™, €˜Transmorphers€™ instead of €˜Transformers€™, or €˜Snakes on a train€™€. The Asylum is THAT company that €˜borrows€™ the idea behind a big budget movie in production, and rushes out a cheap version with eye bludgeoningly poor visual effects- although looking convincing enough on packaging to attract some ill-conceived sales. To be fair, they only ever seem to copy the movies that are a tragic reflection of the film industry in the first place (I€™d suggest most blockbusters€™ lack of substance as being the main contributory factor to their susceptibility for such imitations), but they are essentially the Hollywood version of that smelly little man who lives under my local railway bridge stitching together knock off Jimmy Choos ready to sell at market. That said, they do create some absolute works of genius (if you have room for appallingly bad acting, effects and writing in your movie viewing- a few movies they€™ve made are great in a terrible way, the others are just bad)€. €˜Titanic2€™, €˜Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus€™ and €˜2-headed shark attack€™ give you an idea of the things they get up to, and this is where their 2012 trilogy comes in. Cashing in on the movie 2012, they copy its main plot (in 2012: ice age) as well as envisioning 2 other catastrophes- a supernova and some weather event that sends you into a deep slumber after about 5 minutes. The biggest disaster here truly is the fact any of these were made, and I won€™t waste space telling you anything in depth about these movies, but they are based on possible events. So lets look at the Supernova, and are we really at risk? THE REALITY: Supernovae are deadly events seen across the Universe; essentially they happen when a star at the end of its life runs out of hydrogen fuel at its core. As larger molecules are then pulled into the reaction to sustain it, the denser core increases the gravitational pull causing the star to explode (due to this increase in energy) to many times its size, spewing out vast amounts of energy in all forms (light, heat, radiation, particles etc). They are momentarily brighter than everything else in the rest of the universe, and cause shockwaves of stellar material (which in turn can give birth to new stars by stirring up, and introducing energy to the cosmic soup). If this were to happen close to earth we€™d be soaked in radiation and likely face a slow, starving unpleasant end with all plant life dying and an increasingly toxic atmosphere. When our own sun goes Supernova (in millions of years), it will grow to the size of just larger than earths orbit, obviously spelling instant destruction for anything still on earth by the time it happens. Will we see the effects of any Supernova in 2012? Well, fortunately it€™s incredibly unlikely (you€™re more likely to win the lottery every draw for the rest of the year), but as with all things cosmological, there€™s a sense of inevitability that it€™ll happen one day. HOW TO SURVIVE: If Hollywood has its way, then we'll all be saved by a giant energy bubble or run through the Stargate. Personally I'd get some kebab skewers ready and the suntan lotion out but the best course of action to survive would be to dig down deep and stay there.
 
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Contributor

Former TV Exec now enjoying a calmer existence... Big lover of all things animated and sci-fi with a few guilty pleasures alongside