Mayan Apocalypse: 4 Deadly Warnings And How To Survive

1. 2012

THE PREDICTION: 2012 was one of the last of the recent cycle of apocalyptic movies (thanks to the current €˜Marvel€™ era) and, to be honest, added nothing new to the genre apart from supersizing previous efforts. The basic premise is that, due to the radiation released by increased solar activity, the earth€™s molten core begins to heat up. This has a variety of nasty environmental side effects including volcanic eruptions, earthquakes and general weather disruption. As with every other movie of its kind (starting with Deep Impact) the authorities build €˜arks€™ to save the human race but (here's a surprise) there€™s not enough room for everyone. Barely flirting with the emotional and difficult choices that must be made, there is as much depth here as in my dora the explorer themed paddling pool, and you can€™t help but feel an imminent death stood peacefully atop a mountain would be a far better option than being crammed in a boat with John Cusack. This said, even with the lack of substance, at $200 million the film did not come cheap, and it shows. The ability of Hollywood to cover up gaping plot holes with incredible special effects is not lost here, the film being littered with explosions and destruction at every corner being its sole redeeming feature. There€™s definitely a place for these mega-bucks blockbusters these days. I know they€™re not the best things, but are great as an exercise in showing how amazingly technology is progressing and for that reason they€™re always fun and worth a watch (I€™m reserving judgement on 48fps being introduced with the Hobbit however). THE REALITY: The molten core of our planet is effectively the earth€™s heart and is one of the vital ingredients needed for our planet to sustain life. This factors in two ways; first it gives us a protective magnetic bubble around the planet which protects us from harmful cosmic rays/particles, and second it keeps the earths surface alive; constantly moulding and changing the environment which adds energy and keeps the world fertile. A change to the core would result in catastrophic effects on us, from minor weather changes to the poles actually swapping position (something that naturally happens every few hundred thousand years, but would have a terrible effect on technology). HOW TO SURVIVE: If this is the disaster we are destined to face, I can only recommend one course of action. Get your family and friends together (hopefully your partner for some pre-apocalyptic coital relief), find a nice spot and have a party. There€™s no way to avoid the oncoming disaster, and as we learnt from 2012- if you do, it€™ll hardly be a world worth living in anyway so why not embrace you imminent departure from this existence?
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Former TV Exec now enjoying a calmer existence... Big lover of all things animated and sci-fi with a few guilty pleasures alongside