Oscars 2014: 10 Things The Academy Can Learn From Sunday Night

3. Expand the Show into the Red Carpet PeriodKristen Chenoweth So let's say the Oscar producers decide to televise all of the technical awards, but refuse to cut the musical numbers, awkward comedy, and self aggrandizing fluff the show is known and reviled for. What's a person to do? Simple: annex the Red Carpet proceedings into the show's alloted run time. Hell, even if they make the changes and trim the show, do it anyway! The Red Carpet is one of the most useless (it has NO bearing on the awards) and redundant (this is what we have rags like US Weekly for) features that can easily be cut. Who cares who's wearing who? You brought your Mom to the show? That's nice. All of this time is being wasted, when everyone can be getting into the auditorium, sitting their asses down, and getting right to business. We have a long night ahead of us, and some of us actually have to work tomorrow, so can we get to telling you we loved you a little faster? Honestly, this is one of the best solutions to the time crunch that the Oscars face, and it prevents us from ever having to hear Kristen Chenoweth be that cheerful ever again. Finally, if you HAVE to keep this antiquated relic, then I suggest the following: have Elliot Gould as Reuben from the Oceans Trilogy hosting. Why? This would be the extent of his red carpet interview.

Contributor
Contributor

Mike Reyes may or may not be a Time Lord, but he's definitely the Doctor Who editor here at What Culture. In addition to his work at What Culture, Mr. Reyes writes for Cocktails and Movies, as well as his own personal blogs Mr. Controversy and The Bookish Kind. On top of that, he's also got a couple Short Stories and Novels in various states of completion, like any good writer worth their salt. He resides in New Jersey, and compiles his work from all publications on his Facebook page.