Michael Crichton wrote a lot of great books in his lifetime, with the likes of Jurassic Park and The Andromeda Strain making for bonafide cinematic classics in their big screen adaptations plus he created superior medical drama ER. Richard Donner, meanwhile, is one of the most diverse and successful directors in Hollywood history, helming everything from the first Superman, most Lethal Weapons, The Goonies and Scrooged. And yet, when they came together, they managed to produce one of the worst blockbusters of all time. Based on Crichton's novel of the same name, Timeline follows a group of present-day archaeologists who get sent back in time to rescue their professor (Billy Connolly) from medieval France, who faces certain peril from a fast-approaching, bloody battle. It's a bizarre, poorly made, poorly acted, and poorly written movie from top to bottom, with nonsensical plot twists, idiotic pseudo-science explanations, a shaky grasp on history and yet, this still wasn't the nadir of Gerard Butler's career. But it certainly was of Paul Walker's, taking the lead as student Chris Johnston, as vacuous and unconvincing a role as he ever played. No life behind his eyes, nothing engaging about the way he carried himself, definitely not a convincing archaeologist, and an uncharacteristic lack of charisma. Prepare the night arrows.
Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/
