Jackie's Role: Ah Lung (unrelated to the Dragon Lord character), a happy-go-lucky martial artist who is sent to retrieve his exiled older brother in an attempt to reconcile with their master. The Bad Guy: Hwang In-shik (again) as a far more badass villain than his Dragon Lord counterpart. Not only does he have both eyes in this film, but his annihilation of a platoon of sword-wielding policemen (whilst hungover and dehydrated) in his opening two minute introduction was so skilful and frightening that even Bruce Lee would be impressed. The Fight: The whole fight is like an exercise on pain and human endurance, and consists of long unbroken takes that total to nearly 20 incredible minutes. Hwang gleefully (and almost sadistically) puts Jackie in a heap of painful holds and grapples as an opening course before deciding to get serious. From here, Hwang systematically kicks Jackie's ass in a fight so one-sided that you can literally count the number of hits that Jackie lands on one hand. That is until Jackie (unknowingly) ingests some tobacco water and somehow immediately goes from human punching bag to invulnerable Superman within minutes. https://youtu.be/QyLPlidXENk?t=270 Defying the odds (and science), Jackie just goes nuts and basically overwhelms Hwang's hapkido wizardry by being a non-stop fist-throwing lunatic. Whilst the merits of tobacco water are hotly debated, it's probably safe to say that drinking it won't turn you into an invincible terminator who knows martial arts.
My life story is nothing special. I haven't cured ebola, I'm nowhere near stopping terrorism, and I'm still working on that climate change problem.
Instead, all I've done so far is put a few hundred words together in an attempt to make people laugh.
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