Rob Marshall brings one of the NINE to PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 4!!

So Rob Marshall is currently trying to convince Penelope Cruz, the Oscar nominated Spanish enchantress from his critically and publicly shunned musical Nine to follow him to the murky waters of the Johnny Depp Disney show-ride that is the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. My immediate thought was WHAA?, she's interested in doing that?!? Especially because it seems the probable pirate wrench role that basically replaces Keira Knightley's Elizabeth Sparrow, is keeping Cruz from starring in Lars Von Trier's deliciously titled psychological sci-fi drama Melancholia. A movie that sounds like it could be as grim as his last, the bizarre and kinda f**ked up Anti-Christ. At the end of the day, money talks and bullshit walks. Von Trier's film, despite the probability that it would challenge Cruz psychically and mentally like never before as an actress and is almost guaranteed to put her in the Oscar running in the future, the fact is... it's only budgeted at $5 million in total. Cruz will probably get at least double that alone in American treasure from her Pirates stint. I'm not begrudging her though - put her work from the last five years (since her last summer paycheck Sahara) up against any other actress of her generation working today and it can't be beaten.

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Matt Holmes is the co-founder of What Culture, formerly known as Obsessed With Film. He has been blogging about pop culture and entertainment since 2006 and has written over 10,000 articles.