4. Alien
Alien is by far the film's strongest and most memorable character. He's also the most grotesque, a caricature whose middle-act monologue is guaranteed to be quoted ( irony-free, of course) by the same wannabe gangsters he so perfectly parodies. Disguised under cornrows, sunglasses, and a southern accent oozing from a grill of gold teeth, James Franco is barely recognisable as the rapper/ drug dealer/ sleazeball who personifies the 'party-hard' mantra of Spring Break. When the girls are arrested, he bails them out as though bidding at an auction. He doesn't ask for their money but you can see his smile push up his shades at the thought of just how they'll make it up to him. When the girls ask him about his name he beams,''Cos I'm not from this planet, y'all'', before sheepishly explaining that his real name is Al. Henceforth the film becomes Al The Great and Powerful. Claiming to live at the beach ''all year round'', Alien takes the girls under his wing with a mixture of flattery (forever telling them, especially Faith, that they're beautiful) and braggadocio ( he's a man of considerable wealth). The fact is, they really don't have anywhere else to stay and are too proud to turn their backs on Spring Break so soon. When Alien gives Brit and Candy a guided tour of his luxurious house it's clear that he considers his bedroom his
piece de resistance. ''Look at my s**t'', he boasts, pointing at the myriad status symbols that are displayed wall- to-wall. Thus begins a monologue that sees Alien earnestly refer to himself as ''the American dream''. His bed is covered in stacks of banknotes and an arsenal of semi-automatic weapons, his every possession testament to his influence. His excitement is that of a spoilt kid on Christmas morning, but this 'Cribs'-style crowing reaches a wry crescendo when he jabs a finger at a widescreen TV and proclaims ''I got
Scarface on repeat! On repeat!'' But of course. Things quickly turn nasty, however, when both girls pick up a gun and place them either side of Alien's head. Giggling, they tell him that they could kill him instantly and ''all this s**t would be ours''. Barely a minute after his boast, he is made to eat his words; the guns are placed in his mouth and he is ordered to fellate them. As he complies, the fear growing in his eyes, you wonder if the film isn't turning into a revenge fantasy; with Brit and Candy stating their independence, ashamed that a man had to come to their rescue and intent on cutting short his ulterior motives. But it's more likely that they've come to share Alien's addiction to power. They relent, at which point their relieved host holds them both close and declares the trio ''motherf***in' soulmates''. The incident fades away as abruptly as it had arrived, with Brit and Candy sufficiently satisfied with both their head-rush and issues of trust to carry out Alien's bidding. Given his stature, it's not surprising to find he has a score to settle...