Star Wars: Rise Of Skywalker - Everything It Gets Wrong

1. Making A Movie In Direct Response To "The Fans"

Hollywood is in a terrible place right now. Like the gaming industry's biggest companies, they're obsessed with playing things as formulaically as possible.

In the case of blockbuster film that means endless reboots and sequels, with social media backlash being factored in to guarantee "strong word of mouth" after the release of any given flick.

Whilst we forgave Force Awakens for retreading A New Hope because it was a structure we hadn't seen in decades, The Last Jedi shaking everything up meant Disney and JJ Abrams became extra gunshy.

I've touched on elements like Luke's lightsaber comments or Rose being written out, but EVERYTHING from The Last Jedi gets addressed, through the filter of "who moaned about what the most".

Luke lifting his X-Wing out the Ahch-To lake, Holdo's lightspeed suicide run getting hand-waved away as a "one in a million" technique, Rey's father actually being the son of Palpatine and her being his granddaughter, THEN her taking the Skywalker name, because Luke and Leia had a few days' worth of time in her training.

It's so... synthetic, so corporate and lacking in passion or a need to exist.

Rise of Skywalker wasn't created to fulfil any sense of artistic necessity; its script was sellotaped together under an incredibly tight schedule, with plot holes, inconsistencies and incredibly important moments squandered in the name of profit.