These Post-Credits Movie Scenes SUCK!

This film. This !*$% film. Master Of Disguise is, and I use this term in the loosest possible definition, a "comedy" vehicle that was designed to get Dana Carvey into the mainstream, but acted more like a bus that careened off a cliff and onto a hospital for sick orphans such was the raging skip fire of bad publicity this film got.

Holding a shocking 1% on Rotten Tomatoes which I'm pretty sure it only got for ticking the box of being a tangible film, The Master Of Disguise probably wishes it could don a new one of its own and hide from the critical and public mauling it received. However it's clear that the project really was invested in showcasing everything Carvey had to offer, and I mean this in a literal sense as the post-credits scene here IS SO !*$% LONG I CAN FEEL MYSELF AGE WATCHING IT.

This abysmal 8-minute torture-fest showcases every. single. blooper and alternate scene not used in the movie as the credits crawl by. Precisely none of the content on offer is funny and you feel like you've been strapped into that horrible eye mangling device from a Clockwork Orange, forced to experience the death of comedy.

And yet, that's just the tip of the greasy iceberg of rotten one-liners, as there's ANOTHER scene after this which is so baffling I feel like I just need to walk you through bit by bit here.

So young Pistachio here is cleaning up and notices a noise coming from inside the Slapping Dummy which he used for his obligatory training scene earlier on in the movie. After examining it, he opens the back to find a Little Person inside who then reveals he was the one controlling the machine and did so because he "loves slapping". Oh, and did I mention he's dressed as !*$% Mario? And then proceeds to chase Pistachio around, before the two make up and tell the audience to go home?

I'M SORRY DID I SKIP A FEW PAGES?

I am FURIOUS even thinking about this scene, it makes no sense, it's about as funny as taking your nan of life support, and the cheek of Carvey to tell us to go home at the end of it all? No pal, YOU go home, back to propping up the wobbly leg of the bargain bin that houses better films.